QIP
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The brand's communication could potentially alienate prospect users. Why?
“Equipo,” which could be lingo for “equipamento,” is a word in Spanish and not broadly used
The phrase "From athlete to athlete" may exclude those who don't identify as one.
The initial copy lacks clarity on whether it addresses sellers, buyers, or both.
1 . Headline
ORIGINAL
CHANGED
Equipos incríveis
de atleta para atleta
Vs.
Equipamentos incríveis
para amar um esporte
“Amazing gears”
Adjust to the correct word in Portuguese
“To love a sport”
By omitting "athlete," it welcomes those who don't identify as such but still seek to love a sport. It's inclusive, future-oriented, expressing the desire to pursue a goal.
2. Value statement
ORIGINAL
“Todo equipo é incrível porque carrega a trajetória de alguém no esporte”
"Every gear is incredible because it carries someone's journey in sports."
This message is directed at both buyers and sellers, preparing the first call-to-action. It emphasizes the stories behind each product, but it could benefit from clearer details on the product itself and its functionality.
CHANGED
“Aqui você compra e vende produtos esportivos de origem,
pré-amados e com história”
"Here you buy and sell pre-loved sports products with origin and history”
This message explains what the product it is, how it works and why it exists.
3. CTA button
ORIGINAL
“Faça seu cadastro”
"Register here"
It implies the beginning of a boring process, and still not clear about who the user is.
CHANGED
“Vamos começar”
“Let’s get started”
It is an invitation for both sellers and buyers. It implies that we will guide them throughout the process.
